Kumah's Male Character (waiting for approval)

Subject: Kumah's Male Character (waiting for approval) Mon Mar 05, 2012 3:29 pm

Name: Ren Kazeyama

Nickname (s): Ren ; Kaze ; Black Cat.

Race: Human / Human Aragami ( https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T7c0Z7KB1co )

Age: Appears to be 16/18

Gender: Male

Sexual Interest/ Orientation: Bisexual

Occupation: Student / God Eater ( https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T7c0Z7KB1co )

Gang (optional): None

Physical Appearance: He's a tall ‘monster’ and thin. His physical strength is stronger than normal persons. He’s a God Eater ( https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T7c0Z7KB1co ).

Weapon: God Eater Blade. If you touch on it you can be killed by only one little cut.

Eye color: Dark Sapphire Blue

Hair color/style: Black spiky hair but when he's on his God Eater mood his hair turns white.

Height: 6’

Clothes: Ren wears a hoodie all the time. The hoodie is black. He wears a shirt underneath his hoodie. He wears long black jeans with chains and his footwear is trainers or boots.

Family: He has no family. They’re all dead.

Weakness (s): Talking about his past is one of his weakness and his right leg. He has a problem with it but he’s the only one that knows about it.

Birthday: Unknown

Background Histoy: ( https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NemX5bxF-ik )

What brings them to Ikebukuro? He suddenly appeared on Ikebukuro. Apparently he’s working. It’s a mistery.

I personally don't like how you just took lots of youtube links to describe him. For those who know nothing of this game, these videos do NOTHING to describe who he is! Just posting links that hold no original thought of your own isn't good at all. It shows a lock of creativity. And no one wants that.

And you didn't even describe his appearance all that much. You said he was a God Eater. That's not really a physical appearance as much as it is a "race".

The entire concept isn't very original at all, which is concerning. And anything that could be original about him is lacking severely. I feel like you whipped him up in ten minutes. There's gotta be more to an OC than just youtube links and one sentence descriptions.

Not to mention his story seems to follow the plot line of these games so heavily, it almost doesn't even fit into DRRR.

Fix up these issues, and we'll see about accepting him. I just personally cannot at the moment. Other Mods/Admins are welcome to accept them if they wish. But I can't do it myself.

» Psyche's OC (Waiting for Approval)
» Brie's character (Waiting for approval)
» Kumah's Character (waiting for approval)
» PhantomhiveL's Character. Waiting for approval~
» L-Rules17 Character - Waiting Approval