Life Changes

Hey all. It's been a long time since I logged in. I have some good reasons for that.

First, college has been crazy. I have three essays due by the end of Thanksgiving just to give a glimpse into the craziness I've been trying to juggle. It's not hard, it's just a lot at once. It gives me rarely any time to think about being online for long periods of time. It also sucks away all my drive to roleplay.

Second, my job. Not only that, I now have a second job. Juggling two jobs will keep me even farther away from the computer and will drain me even more of my energy. For example, I have to work all day Black Friday. That's going to suck, but that's ok.

Third, I have no creativity left. The juggling of school and work is making it hard for me to work on my own novels (which is a huge part of my future and my goals). I can't even write fanfiction. I haven't been able to roleplay my own characters for weeks, let alone a character from a tv show. I haven't been able to draw or read for pleasure.

Fourth, I have no desire to stay here. Personal reasons are the main reason for this. I simply do not find any joy on this site anymore. Maybe that will change in the future. But for now, the drama and the work makes this site a chore, and not a place for fun. It's not because of a single person or group, but the overall feeling I get when I see this site at the moment.

Fifth, my social life is coming back. The years of staying at home on the computer is fading away. My anxiety is leaving me every day slowly. I'm going out more. I'm seeing my friends. Just last week I was out every single day doing something to the point that online friends were texting me asking me if I was ok because I hadn't been online. I would go into detail about what I did each day just to show how busy I've been, but that'd be overkill.

And lastly my favorite. I have a boyfriend. And he's amazing. He's absolutely perfect and everything I've ever wanted and I honestly feel blessed that my first relationship is with a guy like him. He's charming and sweet and thoughtful. He's an author like myself and very talented, he can sing (even though he doesn't think he can), can play piano, plays flag football, is in a comedy group and runs a comedy club at the college campus, is a blackbelt in karate, and is one of the funniest and people I've ever met. To top it off, he says he thinks i'm perfect even with my anxiety. He doesn't think it's a burden. He's happily willing to sit with me during my panicked states and he finds me beautiful and kind and never stops telling me how happy I make him. And knowing that makes me so happy to the point I want to see him every day. And that is allowing me to get out of the house and do things I would be too timid to do. I might even go to a movie theater with him to see Rise of the Guardians, or maybe Warm Bodies. He's changing me in the most wonderful way.

With all of these changes in my life, I can only say that I can no longer stay here. I don't want to leave permanently. I never know if or when I'll come back. My account may be deleted some day from inactivity. That's ok. But for now, until I have some more free time again, I will be resigning as a staff member and I am revoking my role as Psyche. I love the character, but my muse is dead. The chances of me roleplaying him anymore is slim, and I want someone to take him who will use him properly.

So with that, I bid everyone a farewell. I might come back later. If not, you know how to reach me.