The messed up wish Game!

Granted, but they're hidden away in your gallery of cupboards.

I wish for some ice cream.

You get snacks, but they're moldy.

I wish that I knew the meaning of life.

42. different answers to the meaning of like that make no sense whatsoever.

I wish for comfort.

Wish granted. You are now packed into a suitcase. Did I remember to put breathing holes in it? ...Oh well!

I wish my best friend would stop teaming up with my little sister to torment me.

Your best friend stops teaming up with your sister to torment you, instead they team up to kill you Owo;

I wish everyone would read the rules instead of just some people...

Everyone does. But now no one follows the rules.

I wish my head didn't hurt.

Granted. Now your stomach hurts.

I wish that it won't rain today.

Granted. Enjoy your poisoned tea.

I wish my computer was faster so I could reply in time.

He isn't an ass hole, now he's a dick.

I wish I wasn't so tired.

Granted. You are now awake for eternity.

I wish I wasn't a procrastinator.

You are no longer a procrastinator. But now you work on anything and everything you do with such diligence that nothing else matters.

I wish that there was more happy than sad in the world.

Your cramps go away...for a total of one minute before staying there...always.

I wish that my lips didn't always get chapped.

Granted, but now you always have cold-sores.

I wish for more positive energy in my life.

You get unpoisonded tea, but its bad.

I wish I owned a cell phone.

Granted. You now own a broken cell phone.

I wish the school year was over already.

Granted. Now he/she gets into everything else. Even stuff she/he can't even physically reach.

I wish my best friend had been in school today.