The messed up wish Game!

Your wifi works properly, except for when you use it. Then it doesn't work at all.

I wish I didn't feel sick.

You don't feel sick but it's because you're a zombie

I wish me dog would stop moving my mouse with his nose...

Your dog stops moving your mouse with his nose. He moves it with his paws instead.

I wish for nothing bad to happen.

Nothing bad happens, but nothing good does either. The world is now stuck in an eternal limbo of mediocre

I wish I wasn't such a nerd...

You are no longer such a nerd, however, you are now a really mean bully and never even think about your fanfictions.

I wish that I could stop excessively sneezing.

You stop sneezing ecessively but now you revert to the hiccups again

(... What's your wish?)

Oh, woops! I wish people would post in the rp threads I'm in instead of just this one...

You get your wish, but they post really random stuff that has nothing to do with the rp.

I wish that it wasn't so freaking cold in my usually warm apartment.

It is now too hot instead...

I wish it would stop snowing.

It stops snowing, instead, it starts to hail forever.

I wish that I could think clearly.

You think clearly but only about banana's... evermore.

I wish my medication didn't have awful withdrawal effects to go through now that I'm coming off them *dies*

It no longer has awful withdraw effects, but you now have withdraw symptoms to everything else you ever do.

I wish that my stomach didn't hurt.

Your stomach stops hurting, but every other part of your body hurts instead

I wish I could eat spicy food...

You can eat spicy food, but only spicy food, for the rest of you life.

I wish I could read, write, understand Japanese while retaining my knowledge of English. (Cause if I didn't put the English comment in, I know someone is gonna say you can't understand English now.)

You can read write and undeterstand Japanese while retaining knowledge of english however your vocal cords vanish, your hands get cut off and you go deaf meaning you have no way to communicate in any language. Woops.

I wish my gerbil would stop keeping me awake at night...

(Oh wow. I thought that I has that one figured out. I was way wrong.)

Your gerbil stops keeping you awake at night, but only because there is no more night, only day. And it won't let you sleep at all during the day.

I wish that I didn't need glasses.

You stop needing glasses because you go blind.

I wish for peace and quiet.

You get peace and quiet...all the time. ALL. THE. FREAKING. TIME. With there being no sound except for whatever sounds you make, you go crazy.

I wish that it could be spring with spring weather already.

It is spring with spring weather, but spring weather then bypasses summer and autumn weather and reverts to winter and snow for nine months of the year proceeding to hail the other three for eternity afterward.

I wish EreAsha (Kasuka) Would reply to the 'Looking to Cure Bordom' Thread. Hint. Hint.

(...Waah! I never got an email saying that there was a reply. Sorry, sorry.)
I do reply to the thread, but it's only one sentence and sucks. (Which I won't do.)

I wish that I could think of something to wish for.

You think of a wish but then you forget it immediately (It's okay, I was just tired of waiting XD)

I wish no one got sick... ever. Sure we still die of old age and random, startling acts of violence but... no one ever gets sick.

No one ever gets sick, however, that is because everyone on Earth has died out.

I wish that I could didn't lie so much.

You stop lying so much but you lose the ability entirely.

I wish grammar was a non-issue.

Grammer becomes a non-issue. However, now people use such bad grammar that you can't tell what they're saying.

I wish that my feet weren't so freaking cold.